Monday, March 10, 2008

How I forgot to do any census returns

"I was recently diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my plants in the front garden. As I go to turn on the hose I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. I go to get the car keys from the entrance and then notice the delivered mail on the entrance table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, I can run down to the post-box when I take out the rubbish, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. My other cheque book is in the computer desk, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my other cheque book, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm so I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the window ledge catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the window ledge and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I’d better put them back on my computer desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I put the glasses back down on the window ledge, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. I must have left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when I go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I'll 
water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but some spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get a towel and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The flower tubs aren't watered; The car isn't washed; The bills aren't paid; There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the window ledge; The flowers in the vase don't have enough water; There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book; I can't find the remote; I can't find my glasses; I have absolutely NO idea what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to work out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone I know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to."


Rick said...

Absolutely brilliant. The best post you done so far. I would probably link to it if I could remember what else I was going to say.

Myra said...

The best acronym yet.

Di said...

That could have been me writing that....and it can only get worse-another birthday next week!